Previously On: Achtung Cthulhu!
ET reporting on the mess in Germany. Vivian Jones was going to do this latest report, but since I’m not hurt, for a change, and actually here and not prone I decided to do it instead. I think the lack of interesting burial sites other than the one she stepped in has Vivian a little frustrated. So, anyway… we rescued about two dozen people and took them back down to the bar. I don’t think Helena was that glad to see us again. On the way down the mountain, a bunch of Krauts were driving around the forest and it was just a general mess. At the pub, I told the group that I saw the blobby thing and did not care for it at all, and Kai and Milos talked about going back to the castle. Bottom line, we had to get that mythy book from the priest. Rizzen…, okay there is not other word for it, bullied Helena to get in touch with the Resistance so we could radio England and Milovech, Morevich. Whatever. A Josef Balaban showed up and I guess the fact that we rescued a bunch of people got us back in the Resistance’s good graces AGAIN. He told us that there was a group of six Resistance fighters set to be executed. Private Goody Goody jumped on the chance to go on another rescue mission. The people were being held in the next village over. The execution was postponed because of all the chaos. Ha. If they only knew. Balaban said he would get the priest. Rizzen got us some jeeps and we set off for Vordetrebain. A storm was coming with lightning around the castle made it a little scary. We arrived at the police station (I hot-wired a farm truck to carry the prisoners since we decided not to attack but see if we could fake our way in to get the prisoners.) I don’t know what was going on, but it actually worked this time! I wasn’t even shot at. Rizzen told them we were taking the prisoners back to the doctor to experiment on. They are so sick. A couple of the victims tried to get tough with Joe and Vivian, but they calmed down. Konrad, one of the prisoners, told us that the priest had gone off his rocker. What he actually said was he talked about angels a lot and wanted retribution on the Nazis all in “church language”. Codename Angel. Codename Dead as long as Private Goody Two Shoes doesn’t interfere. We drove to yet another German town, Kripnov, and dropped the guys off. Konrad gave us the latest password, ten of spades as we went back to the castle find the priest and get the book. Before we went back, we radio’d Morevich. I think Rizzen fudged a little on his info since he neglected to say that the villagers were victims of biological experiments. We picked up two Resistance fighters as we went back to the castle. We got in to the castle pretty easily this time. The SS uniforms seem to work pretty well. Via the radio, we heard some noise coming from the east, but Vivian and Kai were determined that we get that stupid book. We spilt the party as Joe went to the chapel to look for Father Andre. I went to the workshops and V saw about thirty zombies so time to beat feet in my opinion. I don’t think the rest of our gang are aware how much easier it is to run than to get shot. I think Milos smoked a cig while he listened to Rizzen drone on about I don’t know what. Those two can talk, talk, talk. We finally left the castle which was not a good choice. One of the Krauts came running at us screaming and ripping at his hair, and all I have are images to report. Large bubbles. Jagged teeth. Weird eyes. Just not good. Not good at all. Father Andre was off to the side of the clearing. Rizzen told Joe to kill him as he had his rifle, but all Joe did was wound him. The guy is a sharpshooter AND a sniper. I know he he failed on purpose. Father Andre was holding the book which V grabbed right away and she got as weird as the rest of this crew. Rizzen took his pistol out to shoot Andre, but Joe grabbed his arm and the bullet went wild. I didn’t think Private US Army had it in him to defy any orders, but I guess I was wrong. So we had to drag the bad Father along as the bombs started. Quite a hairy experience but still better than the bubble thing that was screaming as we left. V was hunkered down over the book as Private Medic worked on the priest. Given the look on Kai’s face I think that was big waste of time, but if Beetle Bailey can’t figure that out on his own, I’m not saying anything. We left the next morning for Poland where I am sure to get shot again. I just hope we get a good car next time instead of all these military vehicles although in the big scheme of things I doubt Poland has a thriving auto industry. Can you say ciągnik? Maybe I can steal a BMW, even a Benz before we go.