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Previously On: Achtung Cthulhu! Letter from Joe Kowalski

This is Joe Kowalski reporting from Occupied Czech Republic. We had a restful night in Bleichen, proud and satisfied that we had actually done something positive for the cause. We rescued the Hornek’s, AND killed three sunuvabitches, I mean Nazi soldiers, to boot. We woke up feeling positive about our mission and ready for the next step: storm the Karlstein Castle and liberate the children. Famous last words. Despite it being a sunny Wednesday in June, June 13th no less, it might as well have been Friday the 13th , as nothing, NOTHING, turned out like we planned. Because of our success when we first came to the area as well as ensuring the safety of the Horneks, the Resistance felt good about us being here. We were led into the woods and met one of the Kings, V..... Z** from the Resistance. We discussed how to breach the castle and were given really minimal information on what is going on in the castle.

According to V….., there are addled reports coming from those that have been rescued. The information was vague at best. We were directed to speak to Father Andre who has also worked on rescuing the prisoners. V….. does not have much good to say about Father Andre which is both troubling and confusing. He alluded to Father Andre’s insistence that the children were a priority over families. Vivian and Milos Budar raised eyebrows over that comment. Not sure what the problem in in prioritizing children to rescue first.

We left the safety of the forest and went to the safe house that Father Andre has been hiding in. He was in the attic and had rather pitifully plastered the door and windows with pages of the Bible. He was very distressed in general, but specifically mentioned his concerns for the children and Nazi experiments performed on them. He did tell us that the hostages are in the cellar of the Great Tower at the castle. Bastards. I apologize for my language, Sir, but we are talking kids here.

Kai Rizzen made a comment to us when Father Andre had his back turned that he felt that there was something more going on with Father Andre. He then implied he wanted to drug or poison the priest! I really don’t know about this guy. I know he’s my superior in regard to experience and rank, but some of the things he says are disconcerting. Then Edwina mentioned killing the Father, but I’m sure she was kidding.

Father Andre offered to come with us. Actually he pretty much insisted, but one thing the group agreed on was that the Padre would not be an asset on this mission in his condition. Too darn twitchy. Sooo, I let Mr. Rizzen offend the priest which will probably mean a few Hail Mary’s for me somewhere down the road.

Our plan to infiltrate the castle is we would split the party. Since Vivian, Edwina and I are more athletic and spry than Mr. Rizzen and Mr. Budar, we would scale the castle at a weak point while they would get in through a more direct route. If they were approached by Nazis in the castle, they could use their worldly ways and charm, yeah their CHARM, to get out of trouble. They’d be better off using their pistols.

Given the state of our uniforms, our stinking, bleeding, ill-fitting undercover German uniforms that got us into so much trouble in the first place, we decided that we had to appropriate, okay steal, some better fitting ones so we could move through the castle successfully. Edwina and I left for the tailor as we are more expendable (and faster). We-hell, it didn’t work out quite as planned. If I didn’t know any better I would say the darn Nazi’s knew we were coming as they found us immediately. We hit an alley about three streets away from the safe house and BAM. There were three soldiers that shot at us. I barely managed to turn the corner into the side street after being hit in the arm. I hid behind a crate and waited my turn. No way am I letting those jackasses get away with shooting at me. Not to mention, for all those robotons knew, they were shooting at other Nazis!

Edwina… I don’t want to say she ran, but she definitely disappeared. For a long time. Well, she’s a civilian. And a girl.

Luckily Kai, Milos and Vivian came up to help, and eventually we took down all of the bast… Nazis. I am more than a little concerned about the attention we may have attracted. I wonder how the Resistance felt about all that gunfire. There is a war going on, and the gunfire does not mean it was our little band that was involved. Necessarily.

Kai was helpful enough to heal me. We hid in a small cottage for a few hours until morning. Tomorrow is another day. Here is crossing my fingers that it’s a luckier one. NOTES TO PONDER: One, we never discussed the fact that if we are caught in a Nazi uniform, we will be executed as spies. Of course, if we are caught there is a good chance we will be executed anyway. Two, our little band needs a name. “Merry Band”, “Band of Brothers”, “The Wild Bunch” , Greenpeace, Breakfast Club have been taken already.

G+ Comments:

Charles: Kolwalski's Heroes?

Kelly: +Charles I don't know what happened to my other response, but here goes again. Poor Joe K is a lowly Private so I doubt the name would go over with the head honchos and heavy hitters in the party: a very cold spy and an actor among others. Given the hits we are taking, The Doomed Platoon, Maladroit Militants, X Troop (homage to F Troop AND X-Files) might work better.

Caleb: Kelly! This was so much fun to read!!! Thank you for writing this up for the Sunday table. I was worried you were going to miss out on the fumble en route to the tailor, but holy cow was that great

Kelly: +Caleb Thanks!!! I think I'll do it from Kai's perspective next time to change it up if Tyler doesn't care.


Oh! Just wanted to add this: Cast of Characters Edwina "ET" Teresa played by Catie Vivianne Jones played by Cindy Joe Kowalski played by Kelly Kai Rizzen played by Tyler And introducing Milos Budar, played by Ted

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